Go Cubs! From a bad ass old Wagon.

**I know the Cubs aren’t travel related. But I’m thousands of miles away in Croatia and my baseball team is in the World Series after a million years. So I got to sing a song about them.**

I became a Cubs fan over 30 years ago after my father kept calling me “Goose.” Why he called me that I have no clue. But the Cubs had a great relief pitcher at the time named Rich “Goose” Gossage who had a bad ass moustache. I don’t know if that’s why I started rooting for them or that I only had two choices on TV WGN Cubs or TBS Braves.


I grew up with Bottle glassed Harrey Carrey narrating the stories of ball and stick with Ryan “The Ryno” Sandberg, Andre “The Hawk” Dawson, Mark Grace, Greg Maddux, Kerry Wood, Mark Prior, Zambrano, Shawn Dunston, Sammy Sosa and more. I loved being a Cubs fan, we were the loveable losers who somehow always had hope.

I remember when we had, in my mind, the best pitching staff in Baseball with Kerry Wood, Mark Prior, Greg Maddux, and Zambrano. I knew we were going to go far. And then injury year after year made us suck more and more. The Cubs have kicked me in the nuts a lot.

The Steroid era, the $$ lockouts and my team sucking balls year after year didn’t help my love for baseball. The only thing close to my team being a professional ball club for a while was them being professional at sucking balls.

So I made a rule, based on my pain of losing every year, that I’d only watch the Cubs if they were over 500 by the All Star Break. That basically meant I didn’t’ watch them for years. There wasn’t anything lovable about them for awhile. Till a point where I just stopped even looking if they were over 500.  My love for baseball just faded.

Till the past couple years, the Cubs have resurged and now are in the World Series. And now I feel bad that I didn’t go through the years of hell with them. Like I don’t deserve to be happy or excited. Like I’m being a band wagoner by rooting for them.

But screw that shit, my wagon is 30 years old. My wagon has a hood ornament of Rich “Goose” Gossage’s moustache on the front. My wagon can get speeds up to Kerry Wood and Mark Prior’s fastballs. And have you seen the wheels on my wagon? They are gigantic, they aren’t road legal because they are roided up Sammy Sosa style with the sweet control of Greg Maddux and and a sun roof with glass thicker than Harry Carey’s glasses. Also there’s a Rhino Hawk painted on the hood of my wagon. Imagine a Rhino that has hawk wings and can fly, it’s bad ass as bad ass as Sandberg and Dawson. It’s got a sweet Ivy green paint job with a bobble Head of fat boy Don Zimmer bobbing on the dash. Yes, that’s my wagon bitches! And I love it. It may not be the most up to date wagon, you still have to roll the windows down by hand. It ain’t no 2016 or 2015 wagon with AC and heated seats, it’s a little uncomfortable at times.

But it’s my 30 year old wagon and I love it. And even if I don’t know the players as deeply as I did 30 or 8 years ago. My wagon is still running on the spirt of one thing “hope.”

Go Cubs!


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