Goodbye Cunts

For those of you that I may have offended with this headline. I just need you take a Kangaroo hop to Australia where the word “cunt” is a word of endearment and affection to friends. It’s a word my Australian friends Tom and Tanya used a lot as American’s shuddered when they hear it. And these two cunts (Tom and Tanya) have left me and Remote Year to do their own thing. It’s been 3 months since they left and this is my love letter or blog post to them telling them: “Hey, I miss you cunts.”


I became friends with these cunts as they both starred in my first short Film in Cordoba, Argentina called “The Moister.” And a filthy movie name is fitting for these cunts as we came up with the idea together on a river 7 months ago.


TOM: One of the funniest cunts I’ve ever met. Pure Joy and kindness. I’m always happy around this cunt and can talk about the stupidest things and I need that interaction to actually be alive. This cunt partied as hard as anyone and always tried to get me to go out. Tom’s 10 years younger than I am and when I try to keep up with a man who runs on cerveza and Fernet Branca I realize I run on the tears of me crying in the corner because I’m an old man that smells like fermented moth balls. But he kept me young and excited. Tom felt like a little brother to me. And I know when you say little brother it sounds kinda shitty like you are above them. But that’s not what I mean, what I mean is he felt like a brother and I was fucking old as shit with balls that hung down to my knees like a clock tick tocking back and forth. That is all.

TANYA: This cunt is a life coach. And I’m gonna be real, when I hear life coach I kinda shake my head and I’m like ok, sure, you can give me life guidance. What makes you a fucking knowledge person on life? Please. But Tanya is amazing. As a friend I didn’t realize I was getting free life coach lessons over lunch and coffee. There are people that get human beings and can help them move forward in a genuine way. That’s not fake. That’s real. These people are rare. And Tanya is one of those cunty gems. If you need a life coach or considering one, hit her up here I don’t know what she costs because I’ve been getting my shit for free apparently.

These cunts helped me be me by still being able to explorer outside of myself. Probably doesn’t make a lot of sense. I’m just trying to say that they were my people. Fun. Smart. Stupid in the best way. Kind. Irreverent. I’ve never been good at goodbyes which is probably why I’ve put off this blog post for the past 2 months. I’ve grown up as a Military brat and we moved a lot so I had to deal with a lot of goodbyes. And they suck. So I shrug goodbyes off more than I should, probably a defense tactic to protect my little cunty feelings from being hurt.


But I know I’ll see these cunts again. Dancing like a party parrot on the dance floor. Stupid conversations that we pretend to take seriously without breaking character. Making another short film together. Going out for only two beers, I swear only two…Zumba dancing all the way to accidentally going to a 12 year old hip hop dance class where we were mocked. Till the day I’m the Reverend at their weddings that don’t exist yet. Until then I’ll say a short goodbye because hopefully it’s only a short time till I see these cunts again.

Goodbye Cunts. I miss you more than being able to unapologetically say cunt.


P.S. The night Tom left he asked me in his last words to make sure the word “cunt” didn’t die while we traveled. Tom, I got the word cunt 21 times in this blog post. I’m keeping it alive brother. Miss you cunts. Now 22 times.



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