Danku means Thank you in Prague and I can’t pronounce it to save the life of me. (Also it was pointed out that I can’t spell it either as it is spelled “dekuji” and not “danku” as I’ve been imagining it this whole time.) But it’s cool, I can’t pronounce the English language either. Prague is a gorgeous and charming city. So far it’s been my favorite city to live in for a month. It’s not the hustle and bustle of a bigger city and it’s not to small either. There’s something comfortable here while it still has a slight edge.

CHARLES BRIDGE: Get ready to cross a bridge with about a hundred statues on it. King Charles was not messing around when he built his bridge. This thing is fancier than my fancy pants. There’s two points on the bridge where you are supposed to put your hand on the statue and make a wish. These are the brightest spots to touch as all the rest of the statues are blackish.

MEET AT THE HORSE: I was told by the locals that they often say to “Meet by the Horse.” Referring to this glorious horse with some dude riding on it. The horse doesn’t have a name so you can call it whatever you want. I call it Alice and it hates it which is why I continued to call that since it can’t attack me since it’s a statue. Some would call that a bit of a wussy move. But I don’t care because no one has ever said let’s meet at Patrick and I’m very jealous.


SMILE LESS CZECHS: Czech people don’t smile very often. I don’t know why. I find it sad, so I started leg lunging across the city which only made my friends smile. The locals were weirded out and I continued as my friends laughed as I’d go near unexpected ladies and leg lunge. I was approached by a girl from Ukraine who wanted leg lunging lessons and then schooled the shit out of me. As she did a hand stand and twerked what her momma gave her. I’m a retired dancer so I had no shame in losing especially when I found out she was a “Dance Hall Queen.” Never heard of Dance Hall? Either had I until I got educated that night. It’s basically a freaking deaky dance from Jamaica.


SHORT FILM #6: I did an experiment this month and asked people in Remote Year to submit film ideas in one paragraph. I had about 10 submissions and picked my favorite. However the two ideas I liked the most were very different, so I decided to do two short films this month. Apparently I’m a gluten for punishment. Heres pics from the two different shoots “Princess” and “Hippy Hollow.”

FOOD N DRINKS AND STUFF: Main meals for Czech is Meat (Duck, Pork or Beef), Cabbage and Dumplings. Dumplings are not what you expect. I’m expecting more Asian dumplings but the dumplings are more of a bread loaf made and then sliced as small pieces of bread. But they come in potato, bread, and other forms as dumplings. When they first came out I was like where are my damn dumplings? Then I realized we need to have a dumpling convention and have a fight for the right for the name of dumplings. Asian dumplings vs European dumplings, who will win? Check out the pics below to see a potato dumpling and bread dumpling.

Chimney Cakes (Trdelnik) are basically rolled cinnabon things. They roll some into an ice cream cone so you can devour ice cream out of it. Damn these things are good, this is why I’m fat. Kofola is a Czech soda that apparently was created to try and rival Coke. They lost but they ended up with a nice soda that has a light licorice taste.

Some other Czech foods are Sausages and a lot more sausages. I have never eaten so much sausage in my life, (Insert your childish joke here). Also Goulash but it’s not a soup here but more of a meat in a rich sauce. Honey cake for desert which is a light cake. And Hot dogs come in rolls that are burrowed out of to fit the hot dog and condiments. Also there is beautiful beers here that don’t need an introduction as gorgeous golden ladies.

OLD TOWN: This is where all the classic monuments are. The Astronomical clock that puts on a little show every hour. And an assortment of beautiful statues and churches. Get the sunset to join in and you got a beauty of place.

KAFKA HEAD: The Kafka head that turns like a rubix cube but only side to side. It was really interesting to watch.


SIDE TRIPS: There are a bunch of opportunities for side trips from Prague. I jumped on a Train and visited Budapest and Vienna. I’m doing a blog post of Budapest and Vienna shortly.

LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN: Basically a group created for the old men in Remote Year. You have to be 35+ and have a penis. Extremely hard qualifications and I barely made it in because they were unsure about me since people always call me a pussy. Who knows, maybe I’m a Female spy? We went to a meat place and had amazing Steak Tartar since Czech is so well known for it. It was amazing.

HOMELESS: The homeless beg like I’ve never seen it before. Begging on their knees in shame or laying their whole body  on the floor. You feel for it as they make themselves so vulnerable.


BABY TOWER: I lived next to the Baby Tower which is the Zizkov Tower. It’s a tower with Baby’s crawling up. It’s amazing. The elevator for there is you go inside a baby and it crawls you up to the top or at least that’s what I’ve made up.

Danku Prague. You were lovely. And Apparently I did a lot more here in a month than I realized after finishing this long blog post. Now on to Belgrade, Serbia for a month.


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