Here’s a tour of my monthly Crib in Prague. This is one of the nicest apartments I’ve stayed in so far with Remote Year. I had two roommates and we rock paper scissored for the best room with a sweet balcony. I was victorious. European Patrick will give you the tour. A man who likes to unbutton his shirt to his navel, slick his hair back and give crib tours in the form of dance. Enjoy.
My 5th short film this year shot in London is called “Garbage Can Stories.” It’s about a writer that can’t get anything published and throws all his ideas in the garbage. But what if we went in the garbage and read his stories. Shot in London and cost about $40 US dollars in props. 5 films down this year and 7 more to go.
After 4 months in South America it was a nice change to come to London where everyone spoke English again. South America kinda didn’t follow rules compared to Britain that follows almost every rule. Bit of a culture shock change after South America. I feel the US falls in between these two places.
WIMBLEDON: I was told by many friends that you have to Que early in the morning to get in to Wimbledon if you don’t have tickets. But I went at the end of the day and got in easy. Yeahhhhhh Boyyyyyy!
We even got to see the William’s sisters play. And got to see probably the best Women’s tennis player of our generation, Serena. Seeing both sisters out there you look at them and they don’t even look alike. Venus is so tiny and slim while Serena is a Tank. A bad ass tank with legs made of Rocket Launchers. This girl was so big compared to these tiny ass little girls with their little squeals of ahhhhhhhh and when Serena hit it sounded like an elephant trumpeting that just took a shit all over you. She was a beast. A freak of nature even compared to her sister. It was amazing being able to watch her live.
THE LONDON OBVIOUS: Oh the beauty of London with its gorgeous sites all around the city. With Beg Ben, London eye that looks like a big Ferris Wheel, to Statues, Guards that act like mannequins, Red Double Decker Buses, Black Cabs that I never used cause Ubers are cheaper to Red Phone booths that I never saw anyone use.
THE LONDON UNOBVIOUS: They have bad ass parks in London that I never realized. I thought it was going to be city grid but I was pleasantly surprised by the many well kept parks. I visited three or four parks. I like Richmond Park because it had live deer roaming freely. And Hampstead Heath Park that was just huge. It had swimming holes for Men, Women And Coed.
FOOD: London is known for shitty food. Which is true. I wasn’t a fan of any of their Traditional London food.Blood Sausages, Barf. Porridge, vomit on my head. I did have some bomb ass fish and chips. If you like to die of cholesterol, then yes it’s awesome.
Once you step outside of the traditional British food the food gets a lot better. I had plenty of great steaks and other food. But the gold star of London for me is the Indian Food. It’s amazing here. The indian food in the US is shit compared to the indian food here. I have no clue why. When I lived in Amsterdam, 8 years ago, it was the same thing and I never found Indian food that compared till I started eating it here in London. I guess I should go to India. Only regret I have is not doing a high tea and pretending to be swanky because I got real good swank moves.
DRINKING CULTURE: The drinking culture is insane here. They go to pubs right after work, around 5 or 6pm and start enjoying beers. But they stop serving drinks at 1130pm in Pubs which I took as a sign from god to cut me off for the month. Since we were here in the Summer I enjoyed Pimms which is served a lot like Sangria. You put chopped fruit, lemonade and pour in some Pimms liquor. It’s nice and refreshing for the hot London Summer.
SHOT 5th SHORT FILM: My 5th Short Film shot in London is called “Garbage Can Stories.” About a writer and the stories he throws away in the garbage can that no one sees. Here’s a pic of some of my actor extraordinaries.
SIDE TRIPS: London is amazing because side trips are so easy to do. I had plenty of friends go to Edinburgh, Paris, Amsterdam and more. I went to Leuven, Belgium as a fellow Belgium Remote wanted to introduce us to his friends and Family. It was an amazing and charming place and the home of Stella where we took a tour of. I’m going to give it it’s own proper blog post later on.
BREXIT: I came weeks after Brexit happened. It was great for me financially as the Pound dropped significantly and made everything cheaper in an expensive city. For those that don’t know what Brexit is, it’s when Britain voted to Exit the European Union. After talking to locals in London about it they were very disappointed. They were almost in shock and awe that something so stupid could happen in their country. London, the big city, was against Brexit while the outlying smaller towns in Britain were for it. And now Britain realizes they made a huge mistake. The US is in a similar position with Trump which is clearly a huge mistake for our country. I’ve never been scared for my country till Trump who’s championing hate and fear and has a real chance of winning. Our Brexit is Trump which is a lot scarier.
4TH OF JULY: Ironically we celebrated US independence day in the country we got independence from. We celebrated with our welcome party which started on a Red Double Decker Bus that we got to enjoy drinks on as we got a tour of the city. Eventually we ended up at a bar that was having a hot dog eating contest. Hot Dog Eating contest is a great way to show what we use out independence for, stupidity.
VINCE VAUGHN DOPPLE GANGER: 5 times in London I posed for pictures for people who thought I looked like Vince Vaughn.He is my dopple ganger. I like to tell people that I’m his brother Patrick Vaughn.
Cheerio London, Cheerio. It’s time to enjoy Prague.
Andy in the Park is my friend Andy in Parks around the world pondering things. These are some more ponderings from Cordoba, Argentina. Hopefully we get some more parks as we travel this year. Here’s three of them.
STREET DOGS: There are a lot of street dogs in Cordoba and Andy realizes people should treat them with more respect.
WRINKLED SHIRT: The main reason we started Andy in the Park is because one day in wine country in Mendoza I commented on Andy’s wrinkled shirt and said it looked like a wrinkled ballsack. Which made us decide to do this. Originally I wasn’t going to share the wrinkled shirt one because it wasn’t commentary on where we were traveling. But screw it we haven’t done another country again yet…so here it is anyways.
BIDETS: The originally Andy in the Park we did 4 months ago about Andy thinking of Bidets in South America and why they exist. Still think it’s a very insightful Andy thought.
One of my fellow remotes, Laura Pounds, does a video montage every month of our groups experience. They are rad. And awesome to have every month because they are going to be great to look back on. Here are the past 4 months in South America with a bunch of us ding dongs loving it.
CORDOBA, ARGENTINA: Month 1
BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA: Month 2
LA PAZ, BOLIVIA: Month 3
CUSCO, PERU: Month 4
While I was writing my overview blog post for London. I became curious where in the world “Cheerio” came from to say goodbye. It makes no sense. And then I was like what came first the London Cheerio or Cheerios the cereal? Which made me want to become super intelligent and learn both these things so I could impress girls with my Cheerio knowledge. And now you too will become a genius in the Cheerio Realm too.
LONDON CHEERIO: London uses Cheerio to say goodbye.
The word originates from the 17th and 18th centuries in England when people were transported by sedan chairs instead of taxis. A sedan chair is an enclosed chair that has two poles on each side that two porters carry. You would stand at an open door or window of your house and call for one much like a taxi by calling out “Chair ho!” So “Chair ho!” became associated with people leaving to go somewhere else. And over time “Chair Ho!” turned into “Cheerio.”
However this does make me imagine a medieval gangsta rap with Porters rapping “Chair Ho” and the girls or the chair “Ho’s” are fanning themselves in inappropriate ways while they have tea and eat tiny cakes. And the porters are just rapping, “Chair Ho! Chair Ho! Walking down the street with my Chair Ho!! Chair Ho!” I guess I just don’t get the “Ho” part. Probably means go or something, but I’m not googling that for you lazy bastards, do it yourself and leave the answer in the comments. Or better yet, help me write verses for a “Chair Ho” rap that I might actually make by leaving verses in the comments.
CHEERIOS THE CEREAL: I absolutely loved Cheerios growing up, I think it was my favorite cereal for sure. Or it was the one cereal that my mother would buy all the time and it was forced on me. Cheerios was introduced in 1941 and was originally called CheeriOats. But Quaker Oats said the “Oats” in the name infringed on their trademark. Instead of dealing with legal stuff they decided to change the name to Cheerios in 1945 to avoid any court mumbo jumbo.
Well that’s it. I’m sure you feel like a genius now. Till next time, Cheerio.
You see these two people. They are Travis and Sam. They are my adult camp counselors for traveling Remote year this year. They get shit on everyday by 60+ people from accommodations, wifi, travel, etc. They are our toilet of frustration. And its their job so seriously don’t feel to bad for them because they are traveling the world and getting paid for it, pretty cool. But feel a little bad because shit sometimes gets clogged in the toilet and it overflows and is just nasty at times. And I’m not trying to say I don’t take fat shits on them too. I try to control it but anyone that is supposed to be in control of your life is gonna be shit on. As humans we are horrible in that way. We just love to shit on things. Anyone in charge of anything from parents, bosses, etc gets shit on. Some deserve the avalanche of piled up kaka. But others are really trying to do the best they can. Yet we poop on them. Because as humans we all act like we are perfect when really at times we are just a piece of shit.
Don’t believe it, have kids. Change their diapers and then in 15 years expect ungrateful teenage shits on your head. I don’t have kids, how would I know? I know this because I was a little shit. Sorry Mom and Dad, Karma is gonna be a bitch when I have a lil shit. I’m not saying we perpetually live a shitty life but we vent like this. First world problems for sure.
I try hard not to bitch and shit on them. But it’s inevitable. It’s human. So this blog post is a Thank You to my human toilets for the year.Hopefully I’ll take the time to say thank you more than shit on you.
THANK YOU TRAVIS AND SAM: Thank you Travis and Sam. You’ve made my experience amazing so far this year. Are you perfect? Fuck, no. Because perfect doesn’t exist. I just want to know you are trying your best to make this year the best year of all of our lives. And that I can say you are perfect on.
Thank you guys. It’s not said enough.
P.S.: Mom and Dad this is to you too. Love you more than Travis and Sam. Sorry Sam and Travis but not really because my parents are radder and have put up with me for over 30+ years instead of 5 months. And Travis and Sam never changed my diapers, however if they want me to put on adult diapers I can make that shit happen.
Here’s a tour of my monthly Crib in London. I stayed in a Co-Living/Co-Working Space called The Collective. It was a weird space and my room was tiny tiny. It felt like a cruise ship room. It was fine for a month but there is no way I could live there for a lot longer. The Bed was comfortable. But everything felt ikea and felt cheap. They just opened it only a couple months ago so hopefully not everything falls apart in 2 years. The overall concept is cool. London is Expensive. So they created these super cheap places to live so more people have affordable living. It was just tiny.