Every month in every country/city I visit I’m going to do a short film. At the end of this year journey I’ll have 12 short films. That’s kinda rad. There maybe 9 pieces of shit short films. But 3 might shine like a newborn baby’s smile. Either way I’m going to push myself to do this. 12 films will be made.
When I was in high school and college I did a lot of short films. On 8mm, 16mm and digital. I was one credit away from a minor in Filmmaking in school. Then I started working and I stopped doing it. Not because I wanted to. Because I worked to much and I just didn’t have the time. I’d say I’m a workaholic. Ok, I wouldn’t say I am, I know I am a workaholic. I want shit to be great. And when your brain is wired like that you don’t have time for side projects even when you try to make it happen. They always take a second seat to work. And I hate that about myself because I can’t control it.
Another reason I think I stopped is because if I did something I wanted it to be at a high level. After working with great art directors, editors, sound people, etc. when I’m shooting million dollar commercials my level of taste rises. And when I go and do my own projects with a budget of a McDonalds Combo meal I start hesitating, feeling that what I’m working on is as bad as a bunch of obese walruses singing “Can’t stop believing” off key. That it was going to look like shit. That the writing wasn’t going to be sharp enough.
So 13 years later with zero short films made. I’m going back to what I like, creating. And not caring if it’s great or even good. I’m going to care about creating. And even if I give birth to a (film) baby that has 800 arms, 27 eyes and poops out it’s mouth I’m not going to care. Because the process of creating is what I love. Nothing to something. I just love creating.
So this year I’m going to create without an excuse.
This will be my process each month for every country.
Week 1 and 2: I’m going to take in the city and figure something to write about.
Week 3: I’m going to write and organize the shoot.
Week 4: Shoot it.
I’ll edit and finish in the next country which might take me a couple weeks since I’m extremely rusty on editing. And when I’m done, I’ll put it up for all of you to check out.
And I don’t care if the films are great.
I care that I create them.
I care that I enjoyed the process.
I care that I learn from my failures. And get better for the next one.
I care that I’m going out of my comfort zone and putting something up that I know is far from perfect. That might be a giant turd named Peter. But that giant turd named Peter is my giant turd. And I created him. And he’s going to splash in the water of this amazing world.
“Hi I’m Peter! I’m Patrick’s splashing Baby Turd! Yeahhhh! I love that I’m alive! Animal Fart!” a quote from Peter my turd baby.
It’s not about putting my demons to bed so I can create again. It’s about taking a shit on my demons. It’s about letting Peter jump on top of my demons and having a shit fest as he whoops their ass till they drown in their own tears. Peter is kinda tough, he is literally the shit.
And the reason I haven’t blogged in about a week is because this week I’ve been shooting the first of my 12 short films. And it’s been everything I’ve wanted it to be because I’m actually doing it.